A Cop not a Killer
by SharonS
Summary: Immdiately follows Clean Hands, I'm not a Donna fan but this is where my muse struck. I'm not sure where exactly the story is going or how many chapters it'll be but I do know who's on the other side of the door. First flashpoint fic, enjoy.  Sharon
1. Chapter 1

**A Cop Not a Killer**

A cop, not a killer. Those were the words Greg Parker had spoken to Agent Delia Semple, he may as well have been speaking to her. After all she'd just shot another human being to death.

Strategic Response Unit member, Donna Sabine, stood naked in her shower crying into her hands as the spray of the water cascaded over her shaking form. Never in her ten year career had she had to discharge her weapon, but today that moment had come. Not only had she fired it, but she'd actually killed someone and not just anyone, but a fellow police officer. When she'd applied to become an SRU member she thought she knew what she was in for. Heck, mostly everyone on the force talked about getting the cool pants. The SRU was a highly trained specialized force within the department. They were the elite. She had resoundly congratulated herself when Sergeant Greg Parker had told her she could join his team temporarily while his only female team member, Jules Callaghan, recovered from a gunshot wound.

She'd been so happy to move up as she saw it. She'd dreamed of a time when her days on the vise squad were over and she'd finally made it. Now, as her body continued to tremble and tears spilled down her face along with the beaded shower droplets, she wondered why she'd been so gung ho to join this squad. She was feeling pain as she never had before. It overwhelmed her. How did the squads snipers deal with this? No matter how hard she had tried in the last hour she couldn't seem to regain control of not only her body, but her emotions as well. She'd become a cop to uphold the law and protect her fellow man, and yet today she'd taken the life of another. How could it be justified? Especially when the life she'd snuffed out had taken the very oath she had and the man she'd protected by taking the life of a fellow police officer had been a serial killer! How was that fair?

Finally her legs couldn't take it any longer and she lowered herself into a squatting postion on the bathtub floor. She remained that way for several minutes before an anger she'd never felt before took over and she once again got to her feet and began pounding the wall beside her with her fists, shrieking at the top of her lungs as she did so. How did this happen? Nothing had seemed to go as planned. Instead of Greg and Ed making contact with the subject it had been her and Wordy. Both rookies in the situation really. At least Wordy had some experience, hell he'd even had to tell her to lock onto the target as he shifted in behind her to start his negoitations. He shouldn't have had to do that, even a true rookie walking the beat would know that. She hadn't even realized she wasn't locked onto her target until Kevin told her to do so. She remembered feeling a wave of relief when Greg and Ed had shown up moments later. In the end she hadn't even been given the shoot command by the boss. He hadn't spoken that famous word that let anyone who had the solution know they were cleared to take the shot. That had surprised her, she hadn't known there would come a time when she would have to make that call on her own, let alone her very first time. It seemed Parker had become emotionally involved. Instead of keeping his emotions in check he'd screamed, "Delia, no!" He'd lost his focus. She hadn't. She could still smell the powder from her weapon. It was nauseating.

Moments after beating her wall, she noticed her body had stopped trembling. She turned off her shower and pulled open the curtain, grabbing a towel from the nearest bar on her wall. Stepping out of the tub she felt a chill against her wet skin and looked up to see the window above her toilet open. She walked over and closed it before toweling herself dry. She wrapped a towel around her hair throwing the remains on the top of her head and stepped into her bedroom wrapping herself in her house coat hanging behind her bedroom door.

She walked into her kitchen and began to pour herself a drink when her doorbell rang. She looked up towards her living room, her arm stopping in mid air as she did so. Who could that be she asked herself while trying to decide whether or not to go and open it to whoever stood on the other side. She certainly was in no mood for company. She just wanted to be left alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Waiting**

He parked his vehicle and climbed out from behind the wheel turning towards his destination. It had taken some doing, but he'd finally broken down Winnie's defenses and she'd given him Donna's home address from her personel file. It was hard to believe only hours earlier he and the guys had been in the locker room discussing if, how, and when they should initiate her into their fold. Now… now he was just so tired and wanted to go home, he also continued his inter turmoil over whether to leave Donna alone or search her out and offer her a sounding board? Anyone of his teammate could probably use one today. It had been one of those kinds of calls. Adreneline had been pumping and quick thinking needed as every plan they formulated seemed to go up in smoke, but he knew what it was like to be the new man or in this case woman on the team. It was hard when no one knew you or how you preferrred to handle a rough day in the field.

He was just about to knock on the door on the right hand side of the duplex when he heard what sounded like a woman crying. His hand stopped in mid air as he silently stood listening. He knew it was Donna and figured he should just leave. Perhaps he could stop by in the morning and offer his ear then. His feet however wouldn't move. He slowly lowered his hand, turned his body around and made his way to the stairs he'd only moments before climbed to the top of the porch on. He sat down on the top step and lowerd his head into his hands and listened to his newest teammate sobbing. It was painful, he knew he should leave, give her some privacy, but he couldn't. Instead he closed his eyes and listened, realizing he could also hear falling water. She must be in the shower he thought to himself. Probably trying to clean away the ugliness of the day. It was a natural instinct he supposed.

He had no idea how long he sat there listening to the sobbing when he finally heard a blood curtling scream. His cop instints had him alert and on his feet in less than a second, before realizing the screech had come from within the small window above the porch's dormer. He closed his eyes as the wailing continued, feeling the pain being released from his teammates soul. He'd never heard anything like it, he could feel it resonating in his own chest and it hurt. He leaned against the door he'd been about to knock on minutes before and slowly lowered himself into a sitting position. He should go, but he knew he was going to wait her out. She probably wanted to be alone, but he couldn't do it. No one in that kind of agony should have to bare it by themselves. He'd give her time, let her get the majority of it out of her system no matter how long it took.

His eyes flew open when he heard a sound come from above. It took a few seconds for his brain to catch up with his ears but soon realized the noise had been a window being shut and locked. As he took in the silence he realized the screaming and sobbing had stopped some time before hand. She must be out of the shower he thought to himself. He continued to sit with his back against the door contemplating his next move. He should probably give her time to get dressed he decided, having deduced Donna had been in the shower. Waiting a respectable amount of time he finally stood and faced the door. Taking a deep breath he raised his hand and allowed it to strike this time. He took in another deep breath as he stood waiting, wondering what he'd say once she opened the door.


	3. Chapter 3

The Guest

Deciding finally to answer the door because whoever was on the other side was being extremely persistent she tightened the robe around her waist and headed into her living room to answer the door. Before opening it, she stood listening to the pounding hoping the individual would just go away.

She had just turned around to walk back into her kitchen when she heard a soft voice informing her he knew she was home. Slowly turning around, she closed her eyes and took in a deep cleansing breath. Placing her hand on the knob she turned it and pulled at the same time.

There he stood; Spike.

The teams bomb experts hands were safely tucked inside his jeans pockets and he now displayed a not so surprising bashful look on his face. He looked tired, dark circles under his usually expressive brown eyes, his infamous grin absent, his boyish dimples could still be seen however.

Donna wanted to tell him to go away but something in his stance told her if she did it would fall on deaf ears. Without saying a word she stepped aside opening her door wider as she did so and gestured for him to come in.

Her eyes followed him as he walked into her living room.

When he turned around their eyes met and he informed her he'd convinced Winnie into giving him her address and not be angry with her. That he'd insisted. She had been on the team long so she decided quickly not to hold any grudges against the dispatcher as she knew when Spike wanted something he usually didn't give up until he got what he wanted. She also knew that it probably hadn't taken him long as Spike had a heaping full of boyhood charm. He was like a puppy coming at you with a ball, just wanting to play. He'd just hang around until you finally took the ball from him and threw it for him to fetch.

Nobody could accuse her of being a motor mouth at the best of time, but tonight all show could come up with was a simple oh as she couldn't shake her surprise to see her team-mate standing in front of her. Of all the guys, Spike was the last one she thought would reach out to her. He was such a happy go luck guy she figured nothing would really ever get to him so therefore wouldn't really think of someone else needing some comforting.

She informed him that she'd been about to pour herself a drink and would he like one as well. He'd looked uncomfortable when he said he'd take one. She noticed he looked uncomfortable but didn't break eye contact with her.

She motioned for him to take a seat and walked across the room towards her kitchen. Once there she picked up her bottle of whiskey and continued pouring herself a drink. She reached into the cupboard and took down another class and poured another drink for Spike. Just as each hand picked up a glass she remembered she was in nothing more than her housecoat. Looking down at herself she did a mental head slap and moaned to herself. She walked into the living room to find Spike seated on her floral love seat looking a little lost. She offered him a glass and placed the other on her coffee table, telling him she'd be right back.

Once in her bedroom she quickly pulled on a pair of underwear, a pair of track pants and a hoodie before returning to her living room. She noticed Spike still looked just as uncomfortable as when she left the room and had downed half his drink.

She asked him what brought him by as she took a seat on the sofa.

Spike looked at the foot he had resting on his opposite knee before looking back up informing her that he just thought she might like someone to talk to.

She remained uncomfortable for some time while she and Spike continued with small talk, but much to her surprise, somewhere along the way, she opened up and before she knew it she was expressing her thoughts and feelings of the days events. Anger had been the first emotion she'd let her team-mate see. She confessed the overwhelming guilt she felt in killing a fellow police officer all the while saving the rights and life of a serial killer. Soon enough though her anger gave way to the pain once again.

She was amazed that allowing Spike to see her tears and vulnerability wasn't as awkward as she first thought it would be. She didn't know if it was due to Spike being another SRU member or if it was the man himself. In the end, she supposed it didn't matter. She had no idea how or when it happened, but eventually they were both standing and Spike held her while she sobbed. Again, not as awkward a moment as she thought it would be. Once she regained her composure she noticed she was feeling much better than before Spike had arrived.

When he told her he should get going she walked him to her door and thanked him for stopping by and that she'd see him in the morning. When she closed her door she turned her back and leaned against it. While she was feeling better and didn't feel awkward, she couldn't be so sure that the next day at work it would feel normal either. Deciding it really didn't matter because she was feeling much better she knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth and made a promise to herself that if Spike ever needed her she'd be there.


End file.
